I’m a runner?


I woke up this morning to this email – that I’d been accepted in the lottery for the Peachtree Road Race 10K. My first thought was “yay I won!” and my second was “oh shit, now I have to run 6 miles.” That is a pretty big swing of emotions to have at 6:03 AM.

I know I’ve referred to it, but some of my goals this year involve running. Specifically, the Shamrock 10K (that didn’t happen) and a half marathon in October with some of my law school friends. I was on a roll in January, then stuff happened, and I haven’t run more than a mile at a time since the end of January. Whoops. I guess the good thing is that I can still run a mile. The bad news is, 6 seems really daunting right now.

I’ve seen all kinds of motivational images like, you’re a runner regardless of how far you run, etc etc, floating around the internet. I’ve had tons of people talk about the endorphin high they get, and I’ve seen people tag their runs #endorphinwasted on various forms of social media. I have to be honest, I don’t consider myself a runner (at least, today), nor have I ever been “endorphin wasted” from a run. At this point, I don’t know if either of those will ever happen.

This is definitely a mental block, and its obviously something that I’m going to need to get over as I gradually up my distances in the coming weeks and months. Physically, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in (a low bar to clear), but mentally, I’m still where I was several sizes and pounds ago. A mile still seems to be an insurmountable distance to run,** even though I can do it in about 9 minutes now — something I would have never believed a year ago, and something I still have a hard time believing now.

I don’t know how to go from “I’m a runner?” to “I’m a runner.” — and hopefully, one day it will be “I’m a runner!” — but its something that I’m going to work on. I think getting to run outside in the spring weather will help; I hate the treadmill, and that has been the exclusive place of my runs since I started doing this thing. I think reminding myself that I can do it, and that it is supposed to be hard, and all kinds of things like that will help. I think that listening to Timber and Let It Go on repeat will be an essential part of this process.

10K physical training will start next week, and I’m sure I’ll write about my super beginner plan then. I have a while to build up to the distance, which is good because my right leg (well, foot and knee) tend to hate me at times. Mental training will start today, when I tackle my longest run since January – 1.5 miles!

**I didn’t even ever run the full mile in PE classes when I was a kid. I would run the curves of the track and walk the straightaways. That’s right, I was doing intervals before it was cool.

And just for fun, one year ago today, I got my boot off! For those of you that didn’t hear me complain about this all last spring didn’t know, I wore a boot for about 8 weeks last year because I had three stress fractures in my right foot. Believe it or not, the boot/my foot injury was the thing that started me on the current workout kick I’m on, and definitely kickstarted my weight loss. Most people gain weight when they are injured, but I’ve always been a little weird.



3 thoughts on “I’m a runner?

  1. Even after running 4 marathons, I still find myself in I’m a runner? territory. It’s hard to break down that mental side of things…but I just know you’re going to rock this race!

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